National Suicide Prevention Month: A Mindful Approach To Discussing Suicide
Happy September! This is a month dedicated to erasing stigma around mental illness and cultivating safe spaces to discuss suicide. As mental health professionals and specialists in the area of suicide prevention and crisis response, this topic is very important to us and the work that we do in the community.
Cultural beliefs and stigma make it very difficult for many people to share openly about their personal experiences with mental illness or suicidal ideation. Unfortunately, this mentality allows the vicious cycle of stigma to continue, as we shaming ourselves into pretending that nothing is wrong, cover up our wounds with the Band-Aids of distraction, and never fully allowing ourselves to heal.
As challenging as it is, talking about suicide is paramount to erasing stigma and getting help to those who are suffering.
A mindful approach to this discussion begins with radical acceptance that mental illness plagues all of us. None are immune. You yourself may struggle with mental illness, or if not, you at least know someone who does. In fact, research shows that 1 in 3 people will have a psychiatric disorder in their lifetime (Kessler et al., 2004).
Just think about that for a moment…
A simple Acceptance and Commitment Therapy exercise to grasp this idea of prevalence of mental illness is to imagine every single person you know in your life. Imagine that all these people are standing shoulder to shoulder in a very long line. Now imagine that you are standing before this line of all the people you know. See their faces, recall memories of activities with them, allow yourself to really see them and feel whatever emotions are brought up by your experiences with them. Now imagine that you move through this line from the beginning and all the way to the end, counting every third person. Recognizing that every third person is likely struggling with mental illness, and maybe even suicidal ideation.
Imagine the magnitude of this.
Be it directly or indirectly, we are all affected.
Another considering to addressing this topic mindfully, is to increase awareness about the automatic thoughts, emotions, and judgments that are brought up by the discussion of suicide and mental illness. It’s best to begin by using a mindfulness practice to connect to your breath and cultivate calm and stillness. Naturally allow thoughts, emotions, and judgments to arise. Simply label the thoughts, emotions, and judgments as you become aware of them. Avoid any judgments about the thoughts or emotions. Simply just allow them to be there without trying to change them in any way.
Keeping this practice in mind, let’s discuss the myths commonly associated with suicide:
Myth 1: It’s NOT “normal” to think about suicide.
The Center for Disease Control (CDC) reports that “in 2020, an estimated 12.2 million American adults seriously thought about suicide, 3.2 million planned a suicide attempt, and 1.2 million attempted suicide.” Furthermore, the CDC reports that suicide is the “9 leading causes of death for people ages 10-64…. and the second leading cause of death for people ages 10-14 and 25-34.” Thoughts of suicide and suicide attempts are extremely common for those struggling with mental illness.
Myth 2: Those who commit suicide, don’t warn others.
Often there are many warning signs that are communicated verbally or non-verbally by someone who is considering suicide. These can include the following:
Excessive moodiness or mood swings.
Severe anxiety and agitation.
Changes is personality or having a sudden sense of peace.
A loss of sense of purpose or meaning in life.
Severe hopelessness and worthlessness.
Experiencing a recent crisis or trauma.
Withdrawal from friends, family, work, and responsibilities.
Reckless, acting out behaviors, that are often risky in nature (i.e. promiscuity, substance abuse, excessive spending, socially inappropriate behaviors, etc.).
Self-harming behaviors (i.e. cutting, burning, hitting head, etc.).
Overt discussion and questions or preoccupation with death and dying.
Making preparations and getting their business in order (i.e. creating a will, giving away possessions, cleaning house, etc).
Making passive statements such as, “I wish I wasn’t here.” Or “I can’t do this anymore.”
Myth 3: Those who talk about suicide are just attention seeking.
As mentioned above, people who are thinking about suicide often send out warning signs, trying to communicate their distress and seek help from loved ones. Calling this “attention seeking” is a slap in the face to those who are truly suffering. These individuals are crying out for help by seeking care and understanding from others.
Myth 4: People who think about committing suicide want to die.
People who think about suicide often DON’T want to die. Rather they want to find a way to end their pain. Hopelessness and despair, a common symptom of depression and anxiety, is the thought or feeling that pain and sadness will never go away. Individuals experiencing hopelessness do not see another alternative, feel paralyzed by their suffering, and believe that the only way to end it is through suicide.
Myth 5: Suicide is selfish.
Another common symptom of depression and anxiety is worthlessness, which is just the opposite of selfishness. Worthlessness leaves people believing they are no good, not deserving of love, and that the world would be better off without them. People who struggle with thoughts of suicide almost always feel useless, insignificant, and unimportant, and they believe that suicide is a means to alleviate their pain.
Myth 6: Symptoms of mental illness, such as thoughts of suicide, are strictly due to a chemical imbalance.
Although it is true that some mental health symptoms, such as suicidality, may be due to a chemical imbalance, this is not always true. Research shows that mental illness may be caused by some combination of medical problems, genetic vulnerabilities, situational experiences, trauma, poor mood regulation, and a heightened arousal to stress (Harvard Health Publications, 2009). Mental illness is complex and multi-faceted and cannot be blamed on any one factor in a persons life.
Myth 7: Talking about suicide with someone who is showing warning signs may encourage them to attempt suicide.
Asking someone about suicide does not assist them in carrying out their thoughts or plan. Research shows that talking about suicide with someone who is struggling with mental illness, actually reduces the chances of them dying by suicide. If you observe the warning signs of someone’s potential suicide, get talking with them. Ask them questions. Offer your support. This will allow you to learn more about their experience, express your concern and empathy, and work with the individual to create a safety plan for their care and wellbeing.
One final mindful approach to this topic is to take care of yourself.
Suicide is a very difficult topic that can cause secondary trauma to supportive others and helpers. Discussing suicide may naturally cause you to experience your own stress and other difficult emotions. Take care of yourself by cultivating a self-care practice, including unplugging from technology, using mindfulness to connect to your 5 senses and find stillness, getting some exercise, getting out in nature, developing a gratitude practice, or giving back to your community.
Lastly, check out the resources below for more assistance:
911 for emergency services
National Suicide Prevention Life: 1-800-273-TALK (8255)
National Hopeline Network - links callers to nearest crisis centers: 1-800- 784-2433
S.A.F.E. Alternatives for Stopping Self-Harm: 1-800-366-8288
National Domestic Violence Hotline: 1-800-799-7233
Victim Connect- help for victims of any crime nationwide: 1-855-484-2846
Trevor Crisis Hotline - confidential suicide hotline for LGBTQ youth: 1-866-488-7386
Trans Lifeline - crisis hotline run by trans folks for trans and questioning callers: 1-877-565-8860
Crisis Text Line: Text 741741
Written by Dezryelle Arcieri, LMFT, 200YTT
