If you have ever broken a bone, sprained an ankle, had a bad case of strep throat, or simply woken up on the wrong side of the bed, you know how debilitating and even dehumanizing these injuries/illnesses can be. You may even feel as though your body is betraying you. For someone coping with a chronic illness, this feeling might not ever fully go away. A chronic illness is a type of disease, disorder or condition that does not have a definite cure and may last for months, years, or forever. Some examples of chronic illnesses are asthma, arthritis, COPD, HIV/AIDS, auto-immune disorders, multiple sclerosis, cancer, fibromyalgia, sleep disorders, and countless others. While the physical symptoms vary as much as the conditions, there is a common shared experience of stress, social struggles, and emotional pain for those coping with chronic illness.

“If I’m in a place where my access needs are being met, then my impairment isn’t so significant.”

— Stacey Milbern

The disability rights movement has been in full swing in the United States and globally since the 1960s, and we have a lot to learn from the leaders of this movement throughout its history. There is now more of an understanding of the responsibility of everyone to help society become a safe space for people living with chronic illnesses and disabilities. However, if you yourself are coping with a chronic illness, you may be experiencing symptoms of chronic stress that need a whole lot more attention and understanding. If you are experiencing extra body tension, irritability, loss of interest in things you once enjoyed, issues with staying or falling asleep, or withdrawal from your community, you may be experiencing chronic stress.

While society creates many of the barriers that make living with a chronic illness more difficult, there are steps that you can take to help with coping with chronic illness.

Ways of Coping with Chronic Illness:

Taking a Holistic Approach to Your Health:

While your diagnosis informs much of the decisions that go into your healthcare, holistic health means acknowledging the whole person that is working toward health. Holistic health includes physical, mental, spiritual, intellectual, and social well-being. There is a lot of evidence that your physical health is related to these other areas of health, and that improving one can help improve the others. Focusing some energy on your emotional and spiritual health can help promote healing and personal connection. Notice where your mental health is, and take some time to do something that has helped you in the past.

Take on a Healthy Habit:

If you are coping with a chronic illness, you may feel like much of your health is out of your control. Taking small steps toward more healthy everyday habits can make you feel more in control of your health, and can encourage growth toward the direction of well-being. Every day changes like stopping smoking, moving however your body can move, and eating as diverse of foods as you are able, can make a big difference in your overall health.

Learn as Much as You Can About Your Condition:

Knowledge is power, and when it comes to coping with chronic illness, knowing more about it can help you feel some power over your situation. Spending some time learning the facts about your chronic illness may allow some of the mystery around what you are experiencing to go away, as well as help you identify useful tools and resources for support.

Have an Active Hand in Your Care:

An important part of coping with chronic illness is taking control of your own care. Even when you are living with a chronic illness, you are the boss of your own body. Don’t feel like you can’t speak up with your providers, ask questions when you are unsure and take time before making any major decisions about your health.

Find Ways to Feel Productive:

When you are coping with chronic illness, your relationship with work and productivity may be very different from what it once was or from what society expects it to be. Finding ways to feel productive can help revitalize your sense of self and purpose. Some ideas for feeling productive are making art (you don’t have to be an artist!), reading a new or favorite book, writing a poem or short story, going on a walk outside if you are able, or cleaning up a small area of your living space. Do what you can and be gentle with yourself.

Practice Radical Acceptance:

Whether you have always lived with your condition, or if a chronic illness is a new part of your life, learning to love and accept this version of yourself is crucial to coping with chronic illness. Radical acceptance comes when you stop fighting your reality, and learn to accept what is. Finding ways to practice the skill of adaptability in your everyday life can help you begin to accept yourself for where you are at and know that that is good enough.

The Power of Honesty:

If you are learning to cope with a chronic illness, it may feel like being honest with those around you is impossible. It can feel like no one would understand, and that there is no point in being honest. You may feel like by being honest about how you are feeling, you are bringing down your loved ones. I would like to gently challenge this. There are people around you that want to support you, and there is a lot to come from bringing your family of origin or chosen family into the situation. Simply telling someone how you really feel, both physically and mentally, can liberate a relationship. Investing some time and energy into educating those close to you can help foster a sense of understanding and support that is mutually beneficial.

Finding Support for Coping with Chronic Illness:

Even if you follow all of these steps, you can’t expect yourself to cope in isolation. We are social creatures, and you need and deserve support. Support can come in many forms, from pets to strangers. Here are a few ways to find support:

Therapy:

Some mental health providers are specifically trained in helping people with chronic illnesses and disabilities. This counseling can be individual counseling or maybe family or couples counseling that can focus on helping your loved ones support and understand your condition.

Support Groups:

Formal support groups can be very helpful for people coping with chronic illness. Support groups can offer a space where you can learn from other peoples’ coping strategies and maybe even make a new friend! They can help you remember something very true: you are not alone. Find a support group near you by looking into local nonprofits, group practices, your local branch of the National Alliance on Mental Illness (NAMI), or local disability justice groups. There are also support communities online for people coping with chronic illness, or even people living with your specific diagnosis.

Choosing Where to Focus Your Energy:

Part of finding support is knowing who is not helpful for your health. A way of supporting yourself is being selective about where you put your energy. If someone is bringing you down, it is an act of self-love to separate yourself from them. Instead, notice who makes you laugh, notice who makes you feel like yourself again. What brings you purpose? Your answer to that question is what deserves your limited and valuable energy.

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Coping with chronic illness can be incredibly difficult in ways that many will never understand fully. However, making empowered decisions about your health and finding ways to feel like yourself can make it possible to live a fulfilled, active life. I am writing this from the lens of my own personal experience as someone who lives with two chronic illnesses. My life has been riddled with strange and severe injuries, fatigue, and dysautonomia that have completely knocked me off my feet in the past. A few times. But, I can tell you that I follow much of this advice myself to live what I consider to be a very fulfilling life. My own chronic illness superpower is my sense of humor about my reality. I believe that you can find your superpower to make coping with chronic illness completely possible. I believe that people with chronic illnesses and the disabled are capable of thriving.

“It’s not easy to live with an impairment. There are times when it’s not convenient to have a body. But that’s not what oppresses us. What oppresses us is living in a system that disregards us, is violent towards us, essentially wants to subjugate our bodies or kill us — that’s oppressive. My body doesn’t oppress me.”

— Patty Berne

By Sien Mendez