Can Grief Cause Anxiety? Learn Effective Tools For Managing Grief And Anxiety
Can Grief Cause Anxiety?
The simple answer, Yes. Grief can cause Anxiety.
About fifty years ago, Elizabeth Kubler Ross published a book On Death and Dying that introduced the world to the grief model that says we go through five stages of grief. More often than not, most people who think of grieving think of these five stages: denial, anger, bargaining, depression, and acceptance. The five stages of grief was meant more as a descriptive guide of what grief can look like, less so a structured “this is how to grieve” model.
Grief does not look the same for everyone and can encompass more than these five feelings. A common symptom of grief, though often missed, is anxiety. Often times, when we are grieving the death of a loved one or suffering any kind of loss, we can feel like we’ve lost our sense of safety and control. The period before and after someone dies can be stressful and filled with intense emotions and physical symptoms.
What are the symptoms of Grief and Anxiety?
Heightened anxiety and fears can sometime begin during anticipatory grief, where you may be caring for a loved one with a terminal illness. Grief related anxiety can present itself as panicking, excessive worrying, difficulty concentrating/focusing, trouble sleeping, restlessness, irritability, and with intrusive thoughts. Feelings of grief and anxiety can manifest in physical symptoms like nausea, stomach aches, fatigue, body aches/back pain, increase in heart rate, and trembling/shaking. Anxiety can also manifest in spiritual ways where you may be questioning reality, have fears around death and what happens next, or simply seeking answers through religious and or spiritual practices to find answers and a sense of hope.
In the last two years, we have experienced extreme amounts of uncertainty and fear due to the COVID19 pandemic. As a collective society, we have grieved the death of loved ones, witnessed pain and disparity among our community, and experienced the grief and loss of the lives we once lived. So much grief and constant changes in the way we live has increased our sense of wanting control. The pandemic in many ways has intensified our experiences of grief and anxiety.
You may be wondering, so what now? How long does this last? Or, what do I do with the grief and anxiety I am experiencing?
Below are some gentle steps and guides to manage and understand your experiences of grief and anxiety.
You may notice that grief and anxiety can affect your daily routines and needs. Becoming aware of how you are sleeping, eating, drinking, and maintaining your health can be the first gentle way in managing your experiences. Taking active steps in creating new structure and routines in your daily life, eating healthy, drinking enough water, and moving your body can increase your overall energy and improve your mood.
Finding a support systems where you feel safe and able to share your thoughts and experiences with others who understand and validate your experiences. This can look like spending time with family and friends and seeking out grief support groups. Navigating grief is never a solo journey.
Practicing deep breathing and meditation exercises have been found to help decrease anxiety. Some simple breathing techniques are the square breathing where you breathe in through your nose for a count of 4, hold for a count of 4, and slowly exhale after a count of 4. The 54321 mindfulness exercises can also be a helpful tool in grounding yourself when feeling anxious. This entails naming 5 things you can see, 4 things you can touch, 3 things you can hear, 2 things you can smell, and 1 thing you can taste.
There is no timeline for grief, nor a right or wrong way to grieve. As a general guide, if you find that after 6 months, you are still experiencing ongoing, intense feelings of grief, you may be experiencing complicated grief. Complicated grief also has a higher risk of developing an anxiety disorder. If you find you are struggling to manage you experiences of grief and anxiety, it may be time to seek out professional help by a grief counselor, contact us today.
Everyone experiences grief differently, and there are countless other emotional, physical, and spiritual aspects of grief that are not mentioned here. Wherever it is in you are in your grieving process, you are never alone.
by Monique Nog, LMFTA & LMHCA
