What Are The Signs Of Religious Trauma & How To Know If It’s Happened To You

Trauma
Written By Caitlin Moretz, LICSW

Religious Trauma is a tender topic, as most things connected to religion are. My goal with writing this is to provide education on the signs of religious trauma, how it can affect those experiencing it, and provide resources for those looking for support on this topic. Religious abuse is a form of abuse that some might not have thought about before, but it can affect the mind and body just as much as other forms of abuse. My encouragement is to read through this thoughtfully and mindful of your responses. Sit with any discomfort, anger, or grief that may arise. Journal about your responses and seek support if needed.

First, what is the difference between religion and spirituality?

Merriam-Webster defines religion as “the belief in god(s), which involves an organized system of beliefs, ceremonies, and rules used to worship god(s).” There is a ton of variation in what that means to each religious group and person involved in a religion. Some believe that religious beliefs, rules, and texts should be taken literally and followed exactly. Others approach more liberally with less rigidity and black-and-white adherence to rules. Religious rules or rituals may not be abusive nor traumatic in and of themselves, and many parts of religion may be helpful and meaningful to those who participate.  However, there are some religious systems, beliefs, and rules enforced by religious leaders, communities, parents, mentors, etc. that may lead to abuse and trauma.

Spirituality, on the other hand, is a belief in something larger than the individual self. The belief that all humans and life is connected together through a collective force. Again, there is so much variation for each person and group. Each group may have a different name for spirituality, including “collective conscience,” “God,” “Universe,” and others.  In spirituality, there are no hard and fast rules or rituals for how to worship, but rather an acceptance of divinity, mystery, and the unknown.

Some would argue that religion has very limited benefits for mental health, others see it as a support system and source of strength. It is not my goal or my place to say what is right and wrong for someone’s beliefs. But rather to show how religion can be used as a tool of power and control, that sometimes leads to abuse and trauma.

What Is Religious Abuse / Spiritual Abuse?

Religious abuse or Spiritual Abuse occurs when someone uses religious teachings, beliefs, or practices for their own purpose and design to gain, or maintain, power and control over others. This can cause lasting impacts on others who believe in the religious teachings or feel unable to disagree with the teachings, including fear that if you choose to question the faith or even part of the faith, you will be kicked out of your community, you will disappoint others, or that you will go to hell because God is angry at you for your “lack of belief.” Other times people do not feel that they have the opportunity to say no or to escape harmful situations, because they do not know that they can choice to leave, to say no, or to have an opinion that differs from someone else, and often are explicitly told that they cannot disagree and must follow the religion’s rules.

Examples of Religious Trauma And Abuse:

  • Using religious texts or “words from god” for ones own purpose and design to exert power and control over others. Many religious leaders, mentors, and even parental figures have used this as a way to sexually abuse minors or peers in the religious community.

  • Being shamed, gaslighted, or dismissed when disagreeing with your religious leaders or coming forward to report abuse. 

  • Using religious beliefs to control your behavior, including what you wear, who you date, what job you have, how you parent, and how you manage your finances.

  • Feeling forced or coerced to do things that you don’t want to do, including but not limited to engaging in sex, giving money, sharing resources, etc.

  • Being shamed, criticized, or ridiculed for your religious beliefs or practices.

  • Minimizing or ridiculing mental health symptoms as “sinful,” “demonic,” or “weak faith.” Few religious leaders are trained in mental health and yet they provide “counseling” to others causing some to neglect the mental health support they need.

  • Using religious belief and fervor to perpetuate violence, force others to “convert” to their religious beliefs and practices, or encourage a belief that one group is better than another for their beliefs and practices.

(Author’s note: Much of my experience is with western religions and primarily Christianity. This list is not exhaustive for other types of abuse that can be perpetuated using other religious beliefs.)

The examples listed above are meant to provide broad strokes for a very complex issue. If you are unsure if you have experienced religious abuse, spiritual abuse, or have symptoms of trauma from said abuse, know that you are not alone.  The signs of religious trauma and abuse are really hard to spot. Religious abuse is often confusing and almost always covert, which makes it really hard to spot or understand.

Here Are 11 Signs Of Religious Trauma And Abuse:

  1. You are confused about what you are being taught and are scared or uncomfortable with voicing questions for your beliefs.

  2. You attack, dismiss, or shame yourself if you have a differing belief or question your beliefs.

  3. You are terrified of death, evil, the rapture, the devil, and hell. You may have nightmares or recurring fears of when the world will end and what will happen after.

  4. You may dissociate or feel separated from your body and emotions due to fear of connecting with emotions and constant focusing outward to others and God.

  5. You constantly criticize and judge yourself (and others) due to fear of sin and fear of upsetting God.

  6. You are afraid of being “led astray” by the devil or evil and so you become afraid or critical of the “outside world.”

  7. You feel unable to or uncomfortable with saying “no” to others.

  8. Women, you might be afraid that your body is “bad” and others should not look at you, think you’re beautiful, and it is your responsibility to make sure that doesn’t happen.

  9. Men, you might be afraid to get too close to a woman because then you will “fall into sin” by lusting after her and then you will have to marry her.

  10. You struggle to trust your own thoughts, feelings, and intuition because you have been taught the body is “wrong or bad.”

  11. You attack, dismiss, or alienate others who do not believe the same way you do.

This list is not exhaustive and again, is through my lens of western Christianity, although religious abuse and its impacts are not limited to Christianity. Take the time to go through this list and think about your own experiences with religion.

This is a very tender topic. Process how it might have impacted you in big or small ways. Those who experienced religious abuse may have a hard time reconciling this idea that a space where they may have felt community, connection with a higher power, could also be harming them. Be gentle with yourself while exploring this topic or its impact in your own life. If you feel that you may have experienced religious abuse, there are many resources out there for support through therapy, literature, and even podcasts and instagram accounts focused on educating, supporting, and creating space for those who have undergone these experiences.

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Here are a few resources to learn more about religious/spiritual abuse:



By Caitlin Moretz, LICSW

Caitlin Moretz, LICSW
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