What To Do When You Feel Directionless?

Dec 16

Life can often feel full of detours, roadblocks, and outdated signs. With so many different pressures in life… financial pressure, pressure to feel accepted by others, pressure for recognition, pressure to be productive… we often feel underprepared, uncertain, and disconnected from our personal mission or purpose. There are so many things directing us every which way, which at times can cause us to lose sight of where we were going in the first place. It can feel like the GPS is blurting out directions seemingly at random, leaving you to feel directionless, lost and aimless.

As social beings, we often look toward others for guidance, support, and validation. Healthy social connection is a natural and important part of overall well-being. However, relying on others to be our main source of motivation, clarity, and joy can be unsustainable fuel in the journey of our lives. To access something more sustainable, we need to turn inward. We need to turn toward our natural and renewable strengths and resources.

Sign you may be feeling directionless:

Struggling with spending time alone
Having trouble understanding yourself
Feeling unmotivated
Feeling disconnected from your needs, emotions, goals
Low mood or feeling disconnected from joy
Feeling like you are on ‘autopilot”
Feeling disconnected from a sense of purpose and significance in your life

Feeling directionless can include feeling like you are simply responding to life, rather than living it. This can lead to uncertainty, and it can impact your mental health. You may lose motivation, or you may not get your needs met in your relationship, your job, or your hobbies. You look toward others to tell you what to do, and even when they do, everything still feels meaningless.

Life is full of ups and downs, lefts and rights. Having a sense of meaning can help us navigate those difficult times. To reduce feelings of directionlessness, you need to find your landmarks; You need to find things that are meaningful to you so that you can start taking aim and moving in the direction of purpose.

Here are 7 tips for finding your path when you feel directionless:

Learn more about yourself – Spend time alone and get to know what really matters to you. Learn about your values. Learn about what gets in the way of you acting in alignment with these values.
Connect to your authentic self – Develop appreciation for your body. Understand how your body communicates with you and how it can guide you toward your intuition and insight. Practice being kind to yourself, especially when it is hard to do so. Notice the feeling of integrity that comes from when we hold ourselves accountable to our values.
Let go of the expectations of others – Turn inward, not outward. Aiming to gain the approval of others is about as helpful as a sugar rush. It will offer you a short-term boost of energy and motivation, but you will eventually crash. Next time you are at a crossroads in your life, ask yourself: what is my motivation behind going left or right? Do I want to turn left because it is truly meaningful to me, or am I doing this only because it is expected of me?
Change your relationship with your thoughts – Practice letting go of your thoughts. We can get caught up in the whirlwind of our thoughts. This can leave us feeling disoriented. Start by noticing your thoughts. You can do this with mindfulness meditations or by labeling them as thoughts or a story. For example, “I am having the thought that I will never be able to do this.” This creates space between you and your thoughts. With this space, you can be less reactive. Here’s a simple and FREE practice you try right now!
Accept your emotions – Make space for your emotions. Notice them and name them. Emotions are useful information that communicate your needs. Breath into the discomfort of unpleasant emotions. Ask yourself what they are telling you about what you need.
Turn off autopilot – Become more intentional. Make contact with the present moment and become aware of self-defeating patterns and habits. These can lead you to act in an automatic, impulsive, or reactive ways. Instead, become more present and aware, which can help you be more intentional about your actions.
Move toward something – Travel toward what matters to you. Our values let us know where to go to live a meaningful life. Moving away from something, or avoiding, is a sure way to get lost. When we let avoidance of difficult experiences dictate the direction we travel, we are going to feel lost. Instead, choose to move towards what matters to you, even if there is a difficult road ahead.

If you would like to learn more about what to do when you feel directionless, check out my on-demand course, Mapping Your Journey to Meaning and Joy. This is a 10-module course in which I will guide you in accessing, developing, and maintaining a deeper understanding of yourself. This will involve learning about your innate strengths and your needs, and it will help you tap into a deep well of motivation. This journey will help you understand barriers that get in the way of meaning and joy and how to overcome them. At the end of the course you will have sustainable fuel for motivation, as well as tools and actionable steps to equip yourself with a sense of meaning and purpose.

Meet with one of our skilled therapists:

If you are ready to embark on a transformative journey of mind-body healing, our skilled therapists are here to guide and support you. No matter what challenges you face, our compassionate team will work collaboratively with you to facilitate positive change and growth.