How To Release Shame From Your Body

Mental Health TipsYoga & MindfulnessSelf-Care

Mar 27

We all experienced shame to different degrees. Those painful moments of feeling exposed or rejected and all you want is to disappear. While it is a common experience, it is rarely acknowledged in our culture. If you are struggling with shame, feeling unworthy, or uncomfortable with who you are - you are not alone. You may be trying to avoid it because of its discomfort, but the longer you avoid it, the heavier it becomes.

The good news is it is possible to release shame from your body as you learn to skillfully navigate and move through feelings of shame. Shame does not need to determine how you express yourself or prevent you from showing up authentically and fully in your life.

What is shame and why is it such a painful emotion?

Shame is a complex emotional state that can be difficult to define. In general, shame is associated with feelings of unworthiness or inadequacy that can arise in response to something we have done, something that has been done to us, or even in relation to our own identity. Shame is influenced by our cultural expectations and norms; We have learned through painful experiences to fear shame and try our best to adhere to cultural expectations. Brené Brown, a leading researcher and author on shame, says shame needs three ingredients to grow: secrecy, silence, and judgment.

We are biologically wired for connection, so it is our human nature to long for being accepted and loved. Shame is all about the fear of disconnection and rejection. It makes us feel flawed or unworthy and becomes a fertile ground for perfectionism and your inner critic to create negative core beliefs about yourself. Whenever we feel shame, we are disconnected, unable to hold space for ourselves and for others.

Shame can stimulate a wide range of responses which makes it a hard emotion to identify. Sometimes we may withdraw and avoid social interactions, while other times we may try to please others, become defensive, or even shame others. We are also more likely to engage in self-destructive behaviors when we feel shame.

How shame lives in your body?

Your mental or emotional health impacts the state of your physical health. According to research, our bodies hold data about stressful or emotional experiences. Since shame is a response to stress, it can manifest in the body as sweating, nausea, shaking, avoiding eye contact, or a racing heart. Like trauma, shame can trigger a freeze response where we appear paralyzed or disconnected, but inside there is a lot of physical and mental tension. When the experiences of shame are not processed they can take deeper roots and lead to chronic physical problems like muscle tension or digestive issues.

Here are 4 ways to release shame from your body:

Practice Mindfulness and Reflect on the Roots of Your Shame: Mindfulness counters the tendency to avoid shame. It involves being present and aware of your experience with acceptance and is therefore foundational for the ability to turn toward and acknowledge when you experience shame. With mindfulness, you can learn to hold the present moment and respond in a new way rather than reacting automatically or getting lost in the experience of shame.
To release shame from your body it is also essential to increase self-awareness around your past experiences of shame. Oftentimes when we dive deeper into the experience of shame, we find that it is driven by the fear of rejection and might lead to limiting self-beliefs, keeping you stuck, or constantly seeking external validation. As you reflect or journal about your experiences, notice what feelings, throughs, and emotions arise, and allow them to safely surface as you embrace them mindfully.
Talk About It: Shame thrives in secrecy. Sharing your feelings of shame in a safe space with a trusted friend, family member, or therapist can help you to process and release them. As Brené Brown highlights - “If we can share our story with someone who responds with empathy and understanding, shame can’t survive.”
Talking about your experience will often reveal that feeling shame, flawed, and inadequate is a common and shared human experience. Talking about your shame requires courage, but it is a valuable step in your path to healing, loosening the grip of shame, and ultimately will allow you to come out of isolation and move into connection.
Practice Self-Compassion: Self-compassion is the antidote to shame. Research has shown that self-compassion is associated with increased well-being, resilience, and happiness. Self-compassion is a powerful tool to release shame from your body and counteract perfectionism and self-judgment. Self-compassion is the practice of being kind and understanding towards oneself, especially in times of suffering or failure. It involves treating oneself with the same care, concern, and understanding that one would offer to a close friend or loved one.
Instead of being hard on yourself for feeling shame, try to be kind and understanding towards yourself. Start by asking yourself - what would you say to a friend who is feeling unworthy? Gradually challenge limiting feelings of shame and become your inner ally.
Practice Yoga & Embodiment: Research has shown yoga is effective in alleviating emotional stress and can allow you to move through difficult feelings. In order to release shame from your body, first ask yourself: Where do you feel shame in your body? How does it feel like? Do you notice your posture shifting in moments of shame?
Shame tends to make us want to hide away. Physically this creates a shift in our posture as we tend to curl in, slouch our shoulders, and tense our muscles. Yoga can be a space to explore and soothe body sensations of shame and reverse the physical pattern of shame. This might include softening and rolling your shoulders back slightly, opening your chest, and allowing yourself to take up space. Warrior 2 pose is a great posture to embody this! As you embody the opposite of shame, notice how you feel – how does your body feel? How do you feel mentally and energetically?

Although you will never fully stop experiencing shame, it is possible to free yourself from the grip of shame, value who you are, and develop healthy coping skills. It takes a dedicated practice to release shame from your body and nurture a sense of connection to yourself and others. A holistic approach can integrate all parts of who you are – mind, body, and soul.

Would you like support? Our team can help you to move through your feelings and develop strategies for coping and releasing shame from your body.