Finding Motivation In The Mundane

During the COVID19 Pandemic, we have all had moments over the past few months where we have felt lost, purposeless, aimless, or at least frustrated at the new limitations impacting our lives. Most of us are staring at the same walls and same people everyday, making it difficult to find creativity and motivation. I have seen varied reactions to the pandemic, from anger, to distress, to listlessness and, worst of all, hopelessness, as well as difficulty getting out of bed, going to work (even just remotely), eating food, socializing with people you love, or engaging in self-care.

These symptoms are often a sign of depression and can greatly impact your day-to-day life. If you are experiencing any of these, I strongly encourage you to seek professional help of a therapist and/or doctor. 

In truth, low motivation may not mean much on its own or in isolation, but can be a sign of depression and/or burn-out. Low motivation can show up in very subtle ways, making it hard to spot. For example, maybe you can go to work, but are just going through the motions, saying the right things, but your mind is not fully present. Maybe you are still feeding yourself three meals a day, but can only manage takeout or easy meals that aren’t necessarily nutritious or satisfying. Maybe you have little to no desire to reach out to friends or family members, or if you do socialize, you have little interest in the conversation. Or maybe you are going through the motions of the “have to’s” but can’t find the desire to do the “get to’s” of life, the things you wholeheartedly enjoy. These signs and symptoms are also important to pay attention to.

You may be thinking, “what’s the difference between low motivation and me just being lazy?” I know this question comes from a place of wanting/expecting ourselves to “be enough” and “do enough” in a given day, but so often, people consider themselves to be lazy when they are really experiencing anxiety, depression, or low self-worth.

Laziness implies a lack of care or desire to do something for yourself or someone else. Low motivation is when you have the desire to do something, anything to make yourself feel better, but just can’t muster up the ability to do it. 

The reality is, whether you feel like you’re suffering from laziness or low motivation, it doesn’t matter too much. Either way, you need to find a way to make motivation work for you.

Here are 5 ways to find motivation in the mundane:

1. Notice your own personal signs for low motivation: These are caution signals from our behaviors and thought patterns that clue us into the fact that we might be approaching the end of our rope. For some, it is poor focus and distractibility, mindless scrolling on your phone for hours, watching TV shows you don’t even really like, irritability, desire to isolate, over exercising or not getting enough movement/exercising, feeling numb, feeling more sensitive than usual. Start paying attention to these clues and notice how they are affecting you.

2. Watch out for shame based methods for motivation. Take a look at your thoughts and notice whether you are using judgments, such as “what’s wrong with me?”, “Why can’t I get it together?”, “I’m so lazy, I’m sure other people are not having this problem.” If you are caught up in these types of thought patterns, notice how that is affecting you.. Does it make you want to get up and change your habits? And if it does, is that change of behavior sustainable? Guilt-tripping and tough love can get you moving in the moment, but it wears off once you feel you have satisfied the feeling of guilt. It rarely promotes sustainable change, but greatly increases feelings of guilt, shame, and low self-confidence.

Just like when a parent guilts a child into cleaning their room by saying, “I spend a lot of money on this house, the least you could do is take care of it.” That guilt only gets them through that moment, but doesn’t teach them much value, and it certainly doesn’t feel good.

3. Watch out for the ‘Waiting Game.’ You may be one who just waits until you ‘feel’ like doing something, abstaining from any forward movement until the moment is ‘right.’ That can work some of the time, but it can keep you stuck in a rut, unable to get yourself out. Your feelings will not always align with the things that are best for you. Feelings are valid, important, and powerful, but they can also be destructive if allowed free rein. You may not always feel like going to work, moving your body, or eating healthy, and that’s ok! Taking breaks, vacations, and “do nothing” days are super helpful to keep you feeling good and bring back motivation. However, listening to emotions alone can end up hurting you emotionally, physically, or financially. This is why finding the balance between boundaries and a lasseiz faire attitude can serve you well.

4. Practice identifying what you need and how you need it. Take a moment to reflect on what you need by listening to your body, honoring your emotions, and being realistic about your self-care. Think about what would be refreshing, relaxing, or inspire you. Honor where you are on any given day, knowing of course some days you will need different things. For example, exercise and movement is useful in so many ways, but it is not always going to meet your needs. Start by asking, “what does my mind, body, and soul need in this moment?” If you have just been working from home all day on the computer, watching a movie or favorite TV show might not do it. If you typically love spending time with your children, but you just spent all day with them, then maybe you need some quiet, alone time instead. If you feel really stiff and uncomfortable and know that exercise would make you feel better, but don’t feel like you have the energy, try a leisurely walk around your neighborhood to ease into the movement. Honor where you are and be flexible in your expectations.

5. When in doubt, do something that brings you joy. We all need to decompress and find soothing in our day, every day. If the thing that brings you joy is off limits during the pandemic, try and pivot or be creative about how you take part in that activity. Here are a few tried and true motivators that I recommend to anyone feeling stuck:

• Get outside, in the sunshine (when sunshine is available). Try it first thing in the morning and offering yourself the following affirmation, “It is a new day, a fresh morning, for fresh hope.”

• Talk a walk. Yep, nothing revolutionary, but it’s a sure fire mood boost!

• Turn off the tech. All the technology things, if you can. I know our lives revolve around tech right now. I know it’s not realistic for long periods of time. But seriously, turn off the news, the social media, the work email. It will be there when you get back.

• Breathe often and breathe deeply. Allow your body to release tension. Seriously, don’t brush it off as normal. Your body will thank you. 

Remember, these things require your attention, your care, and your practice. So show up for yourself and do the work!

By Caitlin Moretz, LSWAA